Those monsters from dreams
by go-make-money-damnit
Summary: Crawling in the dark, hiding from the light, every of us has a monster inside.


It was just that, he really liked Dr. Tenma.

The languishing sun was descending behind the fading horizon from afar, everything he saw was painted in various shades of blue in the sky and a few golden rays locked within the languorous clouds floating on that lovely yonder, trees aligned perfectly at both symmetrical pavements, and little Dieter strolled along one of the almost empty sidewalks (almost, as there was a wooden bench in some corners) together with Tenma holding his hand in which he could feel the warmth from the older man's gentle grasp. The air had a strangely pleasant quality to him and he sniffed in the sweet aroma of those newly bloomed blossoms scattered by the tender winds and flew up to the unworldly ether; his vision caught the whole scene with the bits of pink petals floating around and reflected in his pellucid pupils - as clear as the water down the nearby river. This moment would be imprinted perpetually in the child's psyche, it seemed. "This place looked like somewhere in Japan, Tenma's motherland." - that was what the boy felt when beholding such exquisite beauty blessed by the goddess of spring as a farewell before she went back to Hades with her withering enchantment left behind and faded when the chilling breezes arrived. It could be said so, except that they were actually in Germany - Berlin more exactly, sightseeing a rare spot where sakura trees were planted as an activity for their short trip before Tenma starts his new episode of humanistic missions. As a gift for the German reunification in 1990, Japan gave the nation thousands of cherry blossom trees, started with where they were standing - the Glienicker bridge.

"Will we meet Johan again?"

Dieter could not help but ask about what he was typically worried about. Since the day he learned Johan had disappeared from the hospital's surveillance, he was disturbed by the thoughts of Tenma seeking for that person again, trying to prevent and restart another cycle of tribulations and dangers similar to what they had gone through before, and putting himself in difficulties more than the burdens he already carried on his shoulders all the times. Sometimes Dieter just wanted to yell, 'Tenma, take a rest already', but the medical-loving man was an adult with his personal responsibilities which the kid could not be aware of them. The kid just vaguely knew the works of such occupation was hard and he simply wished his endearing one could be more at ease, having fun with his life, spending time with him for soccer matches, asking the boy for help instead of trying to deal with everything so recklessly on his own.

"Maybe. When the appropriate time comes, we might meet him again, perhaps as a different person from who he used to be."

The doctor said with his usual tenderness, the corners of his eyes got narrowed with a Duchenne smile shining on his kind-looking face, and he could not think of another answer nor guarantee the one that he just replied to the child. Well, cute little Dieter, Tenma did not lie but neither did he told the truth, forasmuch as the Doktor himself could not understand that elegant monster, it could be said that Tenma did not even think that he knew someone named Johan despite their undeniable relation. That depraved sophist just somehow departed suddenly without leaving a message, like a mirage he appeared within the depth of nothingness and vanished when the sun blew a kiss through the wavering curtain; he remained a puzzle that could never be solved.

"More important, are we going to meet each other again?" An abrupt question asked with a slightly shaky voice as Dieter was afraid that it would take a really long time before the dear doctor could revisit him with the schedule he would have in his upcoming journey. Strange, it was not a fear of abandonment nor regret nor anything, he just somehow missed Tenma badly even when he had not gone yet.

"Of course. I will visit you in my vacations." Vacations? Dieter doubted his words sometimes, as extreme fondness for man did not mean believing in everything he said. _'B__ut Tenma is a workaholic.'_ What should he reply? Among all the things he wanted to say, the appropriate answer was buried among thousands of words that had been lost. He tried to dig up a sentence with his tongue rolling along the teeth in his mouth, but all of those intentions of speaking seemed to have evanesced before any vocables could be crystallized into something meaningful.

"Promise?" The sweet child raised his pinky finger, eyes blinking like a faithful puppy

"Promise." And together they sworn.

.

The saccharine savor of the cake Dieter was eating caressed his tongue with its creamy vanilla flavor like white flowers fluttering to his taste buds. The real-life angel sit across him and the most perfect lady he had ever met on earth took a chair next to him, saying "Hello." with her charming voice, almost sounding like a female version of Johan except that her benignity totally contradicted to his wickedness. They chattered about various events in the past, discussing topics that the kid was too immature to understand, sharing laughs and jokes and pats on their shoulders and caresses on his heads. Nina told Tenma she would play soccer with Dieter when the doctor was away and the boy secretly stared at her, and before he could doubt her adroitness his mind recalled him of how splendid she was in martial art - _Aikido or something, what's the name anyway? _Oh well, maybe when Tenma came back the child would already form a sport team composed of his friends, started with Nina as the first member.

Biting on the strawberry and the sourness invited the previously arrived sweetness to dance, his oral cavity was a ballroom and the chewing sounds echoed subtly like an almost monotonous melody. Nina sipped her drink, black tea impregnated by bergamot extract with a touch of maltiness blending in the composition of relish - Earl Grey. Tenma with his Pharisäer of coffee added rum and a few sugar cubes dropped into the mixture, and whipped cream on top of the cup - a beverage which name's meaning was antithetical to the Doktor's characteristics. Within those minutes of lingering happiness Dieter made a vow to himself, he would be the one who Tenma could feel proud of when he returns and sees how much his friends have developed, he would be an independent young man assisting and reminding Nina of how she would be a great lawyer. As small as a goal it might seem, that was how he slowly progressed.

Because soon enough, Dieter would not be the child that clinged after Tenma persistently anymore, but a companion with high reliability.

.

He had to spend his nighttime enduring how that abyss was eating him alive.

Sitting the throne within the boundless void which he could not climb out on his own, Dieter recoiled and trembled while around him a thousand cat eye gradually appearing from the dark, staring at him menacingly with a few blinks interlacing among their elongated, widened stares. He kept his voice in silence and barely moved due to the fear of something might happen, as it felt like if he gets panicked and reacts inappropriately he would be ravished by the hidden demons within that surrounding duskiness. At one of the most vulnerable instant, he was all by himself with no one around. Tenma was not around, not even that guy Hartmann whom the boy defied and escaped from his control, nobody. The kid trembled in front of a familiar fear returning to his consciousness that he thought had vanished the day he was saved by an ambassador of heaven dragging him to a decent life. No, of humanity. An altar of humanity that person must be - or at least that was how he perceived Tenma's embodiment, but within this world of nightmare where reality could not penetrate, Dieter was completely...

...lonely.

_Tenma, help me._

The pupils of those cat eyes got more and more narrow, almost like slits slashing through the yellow irises. They were slowly getting bigger, or more like getting closer and closer till the point Dieter found the situation suffocating with so many unreal existences gazing down to him at once with unknown reasons. Were they even of similar type? Or belonged to that same monstrous creature lurking within the darkness waiting for him to fully resign? The young mind was pressured down by the weight of unwanted attention from those who seemed to lack good intents. He wished he could yell at them to chase them away, or screamed for rescue, but as he tried to enunciate he realized all pronunciations were only infrasonic utterances which could not be heard, even by his own ears. If he could not listen to himself, who would be able to do that?

In the climax of confusion Dieter bursted out crying, and it had been a long time since his last weeping, it had been a long when he last experienced this profound degree of trepidation again. Scared; tears trickling down his innocent face reddened by the intense emotion, tears dropped onto the somber floor that he did not dare to stand on out of the thought of seeing the ground crumbled as his sole touches the surface. Even in his dream he could not undergo being alone, being inside the center of this threatening vagueness consuming his breakdown as nourishment for its development so one day it would become more than just an abstract entity. _**That monster in him, that monster in him...**_

An invisible fatherly hand patted on his head in which he could feel that significant warmth without knowing whom it belonged to - or maybe he knew? Striving to evade from this distress, Dieter opened his eyelids as the cat eyes closed immediately like they had never been there, then he saw the tranquil room of normal setting he was in before going to sleep with him lying safely in his cozy bed with pillows and blanket as white as snow, with moonlight dimly glowing through the glass window as a comfort to his sight blurred by his body fluid, with the murmurs of foliage quivering outside like the leaves were engaging in a choir of nocturnal lullabies, and next to him was his parental figure whose eyebrows got furrowed with concerns. Before his sobbing stopped, the child hugged the man tightly, teardrops dripped down the sheet and dried quickly.

Tenma was next to him, as always.

* * *

_**Author's note: **_Sometimes I want to pen down a fanfic for Monster but feel incapable to write anything decent due to the concern of inaccurate representations about those characters, so I wait for the suitable moments to perceive them. This piece - for example - was drafted 3 months ago or so but I kept procrastinating on finishing it, also because I forgot...

Preserving characters' attributes in derivative works is quite an interesting challenge. Strangely how Dieter was the first focus, maybe because portraying a child is less complicated.

Imagine depicting Johan's perspective, aaaaaaaaaa too difficult.


End file.
